would i be willing?

We hunger to be known and understood. We hunger to be loved. We hunger to be at peace inside our own skins. We hunger not just to be fed these things but, often without realizing it, we hunger to feed others these things because they too are starving for them. We hunger not just to be loved but to love, not just to be forgiven but to forgive, not just to be known and understood for all the good times and bad times that for better for worse have made us who we are, but to know and understand each other to the same point of seeing that, in the last analysis, we all have the same good times, the same bad times, and that for that very reason there is no such thing in all the world as anyone who is really a stranger.

- Frederick Buechner

from Secrets in the Dark: A Life in Sermons

this quote is a perfect description of my heart at times. in our humanity, we long for these things. but, i know that out of my brokenness, God uses it to meet the needs of my neighbors. when i am loving and serving the people around me, i fully come alive. this past weekend has been such a sweet time for the Lord allowing me to come alive again. my passions, gifts, and talents have combined & i have been able to live the life God has "designed" me to live. so, i thank you God for restoring my heart again & giving me the opportunity to truly be alive in Christ. praise to be our God!

but, as i think of my restoration, i think of the past, the suffering i've experienced, and what God has taught me through it. i look around my neighborhood & see so much pain and suffering. i just have this longing to love them & be a part of the restoration process of these people's souls. one of the things i've seen thus far is the necessity of the common experiences in living life with someone. these commonalities build bridges into people's hearts and lives. but i could not understand what my neighbors were experiencing if i wasn't living life with them. it is impossible to fully understand. we so often think that we have such a right to serve the poor. we leave our comfortable lives to come in for a few hours here or there with one purpose, to "save them". after our "struggle" to try & save them is over, we drive back to our comfortable homes and social circles forgetting much of events that occurred prior that day. where is the love & compassion in that mentality? what if all jesus was asking us to do is to live life with them? amongst them? helping them battle through their day to day struggles? maybe, by us getting down to their level we could better minister to them. in that lowering of ourselves, we would have similar life experiences that would allow us to understand what it was like to live with the violence, fear, and oppression that they've battled with all their lives. would we be so willing to go? to get uncomfortable in order to love some?

these are the questions i've had to ask myself. i desire to love people well by speaking the truth of Christ into people's lives. i want to listen. i want to encourage. i want to love. i want to be a reflection of our Saviour in every aspect of my life. i want to be a neighbor. but would i be so willing to drop all of my comfortable things & live more simply in a place that isn't safe in order to do these things? to serve the poor and marginalized in our cities? would i put myself in a place where i would have to rely solely on the faith i have in Christ to get me through crazy things that will happen to me & my future family? these are the questions i have been considering. i pray i'd continue to seek those answers. i just desire to be faithful. Lord, help me remain faithful. i need you.

grace & peace.