i work at the somali center!

so. it has been awhile since ive given an update of what God is doing in my heart and life here in minneapolis. of course much has happend. i just realized i havent updated anyone on my experiences with the somali education center yet. so, i figured now would be a great time to tell you about that adventure thus far...

last week was our first week at the somali center helping with their summer school program. to put it simply, it was long. i am helping in the 3rd-4th grade class with approx. 28-32 children. the environment that we are working in doesnt help create a controlled or calm atmosphere where the children can learn. so, there is chaos and confusion most of the time. and our teacher hasnt had much experience in the classroom or with children. so, the first day was definitely a challenge. it was difficult getting on the same page with her and figuring out how she ran her classroom. immediately, i discovered that she didnt have much control over her class. so, i had to lay down the law with the children and we created some classroom rules for them to abide by. i just wanted to communicate to them the standard so they could behave in a manner where they could learn. but, as wednesday neared, i was left with the rules while my teacher stepped back and let them do what they pleased. so, i was put in a position where i was the disciplinarian and that was it. this was my label. i know that teachers have authority and they must get respect first before making friends. but, i just felt like all week i was struggling to find the balance between consistency in disciplining and loving them well. i knew i had to build my credibility with them and make it clear that i meant what i said when i said it. but, my heart longs to love them too! filling this role the entire week was overwhelming to say the least. especially, when i didnt feel supported by the teacher i was helping. i felt as if i was entrapped in this person i didnt desire to be or thought i needed to be. there just wasnt balance there, which was hard. so, the first week = becca being the strict "bad guy" who made some of the children have no fun. i was the disciplinarian. and it was difficult.

but, at the end of the week, i was able to talk through all of this with some awesome people who gave me some much needed wisdom and encouragement. also, the teacher and i had a long discussion of my first week. i just voiced some of my concerns about the lack of consistency with the rules and how we can better help these children learn. i was really able to be transparent and real with her. in that transparency, i was able to see God's faithfulness, mercy, and grace. i was able to speak the truth in love and im so thankful for that. God was so good.

this past week, we didnt have tutoring due to the holiday. but, we return tomorrow and i cant seem to find peace about it. but, i know God is using me and the children are beginning to respect me and listen. i pray id find support there. i just need confirmation that the way i am doing things is honoring our lord. i want to find balance there. i want these children to know what the love of Christ looks like through my life. as of right now, i feel as if im not doing a good job at that. but, i know our God is faithful. so, just pray that the love of Christ could overflow out of my heart. pray that God would unify the teachers. pray that our classroom would just be filled with His spirit. pray for the heart of the teacher im serving with. pray she'll get courage to be consistent and love the children well. she needs encouragement. i pray that id forget about all my concerns and just allow the holy spirit to take over my life and serve the children and the teacher well. i know it's not about me. so, pray that id find all of my peace and support in Christ alone.

grace & peace.